You're Invited! Please Join Me in an Experiment

Let's engage in ceremony together to gain closure on our pandemic experiences

As many of you know, COVID impacted me profoundly. As an ER doctor, I felt abandoned in impossible circumstances. COVID exposed the overcrowding, staffing ratios, patient safety concerns, and staff overwhelm issues that had been disastrous before COVID, and only worsened during COVID. I held on to hope that this catastrophe would lead to meaningful change that never came. Instead, people decided, “well, that sucked, let’s pretend it never happened”, and walked away like they were leaving a modern funeral. It has left many who lost loved ones, were terribly isolated, or were asked to do the impossible without support feeling, as Weezer sang, “The world has turned and left me here…”

Howling across the distance/ethers for others in her pack.

Though healthcare workers were hit hard by COVID, there are many others, for many reasons, who are struggling to put the pandemic behind us. I think that is in part, because we haven’t completed the process. COVID was a rite of passage. Rites of passage consist of leaving the familiar, which I think nearly everyone on Earth experienced. Then comes the trial, the test, and the journey. Again, I think nearly all of us had our own version of this. What we are sorely missing is the return. During the return, we share our struggle and transformation so that others may learn, and so our suffering can be witnessed. We also share how this struggle has shaped us. We let go of who we were before and emerge into a new role with our hard-won wisdom. This is something I have been longing for, and I wonder if others have too. 

I’d like to try an experiment. I’m hoping to create a day-long, pay-what-you-can online ceremony to help people who feel the need to have their struggle and suffering during COVID witnessed and explore how they have transformed and the new roles they fill going forward. I am still dreaming into what it might look like, but right now I’m imagining that it would take place sometime in September. As of now, I imagine this ceremony would include: 

• A community ritual

• Storytelling

• A talking circle (about the struggles and suffering that still weigh on us),

• We will then break away from Zoom for time away in nature and creative exploration

• After the break, we will return to share any wisdom gained in nature or the fruits of our creative labor

• We will finish the day with one more talking circle (about how we’ve transformed because of COVID) and a closing ritual.

This ceremony could be beneficial for: 

• Those grieving the deaths of loved ones due to COVID

• Those grieving the loss of friendships or family relationships as a result of the pandemic or choices made during it

• Those grieving separation from loved ones at key moments of life

• Those grieving missing out on important life events like graduations, weddings, and funerals

• Those who were repeatedly asked to do impossible things like educators, parents, and healthcare workers

• Those who were wounded by their isolation 

• Really anyone who feels COVID is not all the way “over” for them  

If you do not feel comfortable speaking, don’t worry; there is no need to share more than you wish to say or anything at all. Your presence and the fact that you’re simply listening will be so meaningful to those who do wish to speak. If you feel intimidated by the possibility of creating something, please don't. This is not about creating something “good” or “important,” it is about expressing things in a new way. 

This retreat is not for folks who have fully moved on from their COVID experience, feel people should “just get over it,” or aren’t open to time alone in nature or trying to express themselves creatively. 

Before I move forward with trying to create this, I wanted to see if others would be willing to try this experiment with me. I would very much appreciate it if you would share it with others who you think might benefit. If at least 8 people are interested, I would go ahead with creating it. Optimistically speaking, if there are more than 15 to 20, I would think about breaking it into multiple sessions.

If this speaks to you and you’d like to learn more or are already set to participate, feel free to leave a comment, reply to this email (if you are receiving it in your email), or DM me on Substack.