Love your perspective, Amy! Such a great read and beautiful poem. Reminds me of this quote my mom gave me a while ago, now posted on my fridge:
"Cyrano: The leaves---
Roxane: What color---Perfect Venetian red! Look at them fall.
Cyrano: Yes--they know how to die. A little way From the branch to the earth, a little fear Of mingling with the common dust---and yet They go down gracefully---a fall that seems Like flying!"
I loved getting to meet Rita through this post and seeing the beautiful photos from your father. What talent! Thank you for this prophetic reflection on what it means to age and how disconnected we are from our own mortality. I will be checking out all your resources listed here.
I'm reminded of the Rosalynn Carter quote - "there are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers."
Thank you Christine! My dad found photography in retirement and it's been really fun to watch his passion bloom. I have never been called prophetic before and I appreciate your generous words! I think you will enjoy Stephen Jenkinson's work, but I feel compelled to warn you that some folks who work in hospitals and hospice find it confronting. I love that Rosalynn Carter quote. I hadn't heard it before. I am tempted to change it to simply "there is one type of person, those who will need caregivers."
I notice a lot of overlap in our work and writing and enjoy your writing so much. I'll have to ponder that overlap of our Venn diagrams to see if we should partner on a project sometime :)
I am one of Rita's nieces and a cousin to your mom Marcia. Excellent thoughts, as we have been caretakers for my parents and also my husband's parents, who are now unfortunately deceased. We watched the process of aging, and the differences in how they handled the same. Some gracefully, some not so gracefully. I have many good memories of Rita and Marcia, who we spent considerable time with growing up. Rita made the best cherry pie and is such a gentle humble person. I wish I was more like her!!! Duane and my dad were brothers. This is an excellent article, as I have worked over 45 years and feel very much like my value is in what I produce. How will this affect my aging? I hope my prayers carry me through. Hello to Rita, Marcia and their families. Also, I think Aunt Joan is a saint. Enjoyed your poem. Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Jane, I've heard a few stories of you over the years. I'm glad you were able to be present for caretaking for your family as tiring as it can be. And as hard as it is to watch someone struggle, there's a lot of wisdom to gain in sharing the struggle with someone even when it isn't very graceful. I always think of rhubarb desserts when I think of my grandma, I'll have to track down that cherry pie recipe.
It is definitely a challenge to traverse these big changes in role. I hope this discussion in a small way will help you be more open to receiving care from others if and when you need it. Joan definitely has a generous heart. I pray she remains able to give without feeling depleted and/or can ask for help when she does.
Love your perspective, Amy! Such a great read and beautiful poem. Reminds me of this quote my mom gave me a while ago, now posted on my fridge:
"Cyrano: The leaves---
Roxane: What color---Perfect Venetian red! Look at them fall.
Cyrano: Yes--they know how to die. A little way From the branch to the earth, a little fear Of mingling with the common dust---and yet They go down gracefully---a fall that seems Like flying!"
- Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac
Thanks Emily! I felt like these two posts fit together but couldn't articulate how. I think the quote you shared captured it perfectly.
I loved getting to meet Rita through this post and seeing the beautiful photos from your father. What talent! Thank you for this prophetic reflection on what it means to age and how disconnected we are from our own mortality. I will be checking out all your resources listed here.
I'm reminded of the Rosalynn Carter quote - "there are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers."
Thank you Christine! My dad found photography in retirement and it's been really fun to watch his passion bloom. I have never been called prophetic before and I appreciate your generous words! I think you will enjoy Stephen Jenkinson's work, but I feel compelled to warn you that some folks who work in hospitals and hospice find it confronting. I love that Rosalynn Carter quote. I hadn't heard it before. I am tempted to change it to simply "there is one type of person, those who will need caregivers."
I notice a lot of overlap in our work and writing and enjoy your writing so much. I'll have to ponder that overlap of our Venn diagrams to see if we should partner on a project sometime :)
Oh we should definitely partner on something! 😁
So beautiful!! Brought tears and memories. Thank you.
Thank you Mary. I'm glad it resonated with you!
I am one of Rita's nieces and a cousin to your mom Marcia. Excellent thoughts, as we have been caretakers for my parents and also my husband's parents, who are now unfortunately deceased. We watched the process of aging, and the differences in how they handled the same. Some gracefully, some not so gracefully. I have many good memories of Rita and Marcia, who we spent considerable time with growing up. Rita made the best cherry pie and is such a gentle humble person. I wish I was more like her!!! Duane and my dad were brothers. This is an excellent article, as I have worked over 45 years and feel very much like my value is in what I produce. How will this affect my aging? I hope my prayers carry me through. Hello to Rita, Marcia and their families. Also, I think Aunt Joan is a saint. Enjoyed your poem. Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Jane, I've heard a few stories of you over the years. I'm glad you were able to be present for caretaking for your family as tiring as it can be. And as hard as it is to watch someone struggle, there's a lot of wisdom to gain in sharing the struggle with someone even when it isn't very graceful. I always think of rhubarb desserts when I think of my grandma, I'll have to track down that cherry pie recipe.
It is definitely a challenge to traverse these big changes in role. I hope this discussion in a small way will help you be more open to receiving care from others if and when you need it. Joan definitely has a generous heart. I pray she remains able to give without feeling depleted and/or can ask for help when she does.