This is huge. The extra drama that we unecessarily add to life, plus exogenous, contrived drama exacerbates the isolation. Learning to ignore both of the above for even a bit will help us get together.
Yeah, it's often drama we don't even know we are creating, it's just like the default operating system, so it initially takes a lot of effort to make the unconscious conscious.
Strange. We all seem to love our stories, as do I. Yet, as I talk to others, I see that almost everyone I know, maybe everyone, lacks the ability to always recognize the differences between stories, myths, beliefs and what may be real. It seems humanity is dependent on their stories, their legends, their beliefs, their religions, attempting to navigate across one’s life, always in search of meaning.
Definitely, in my beliefs about how others view me, I often don't even recognize that I'm telling myself a story that I've never verified, in my mind it is just "the truth", it requires so much mindfulness to even see the story as a story, which requires slowness, which we rarely grant ourselves.
This is so beautiful, Amy. Remember what we talked about during the StoryCorps about feeling like I was a burden and had created a huge moat between us when I was sick—and you helped me release that from my shoulders? That was such a gift. You are a bright light and a generous soul. Cheering for you this week leading up to your awesome exhibit and reception! ❤️
Thank you Karla! It's really interesting, right? I wonder were you even aware that was a story you were telling yourself? Because so many times my brain just says, "this thing is a fact" and I don't even notice that there could be other perspectives to ask about.
You nailed it. I just knew it to be true at that point, so the fact that you confirmed that it was not was earth-shaking. I would love to chat more about more things we believe to be fact—but might not be in reality. Maybe at our next Amy/Karla yearly adventure this can be on the agenda! Now my wheels are turning about what else that special day will entail. Love you, Amy!
Yeah, Story Corps has been inspiring to me. I recorded interviews with my grandmother, mom, and dad, just at home, but they were memorable conversations. Karla gets a lot of perks with her work, so Butterball (the turkey company) sponsored our StoryCorps trip out there.
Yes! I ran into a fellow mom at a school event who works at the library. She pointed me toward the programming lady at the library. I'm on my way. I hope others will share some skills around here too. Though I also kind of like the idea of hosting something I kind of suck at. Like I think I would be a great song leader because I'm not a very good singer, so everyone would just like, well, I can do that, and belt it out.
This is an amazing essay, putting into words so much of what goes through my head about being a burden to people. I feel so guilty, sometimes, just for taking up space. I haven't had the courage yet to confront those thoughts and assumptions. Somehow just reading about your experiences is a comfort that I'm not alone in creating such knotted thoughts.
Thank you Sarah, definitely know you're not alone, I suspect we've all (at least here in the US) been taught this story at some point. Maybe we can experiment in challenging the stories together.
For me it has to do with our relentless addiction to being productive, and also feeling the need to give or exchange something to the person who is spending time with me
This is huge. The extra drama that we unecessarily add to life, plus exogenous, contrived drama exacerbates the isolation. Learning to ignore both of the above for even a bit will help us get together.
Yeah, it's often drama we don't even know we are creating, it's just like the default operating system, so it initially takes a lot of effort to make the unconscious conscious.
Love this, Amy
Thank you Mara, it's a bit funny (in a sad sort of way) how universal our feeling of being alone in some situation is.
Strange. We all seem to love our stories, as do I. Yet, as I talk to others, I see that almost everyone I know, maybe everyone, lacks the ability to always recognize the differences between stories, myths, beliefs and what may be real. It seems humanity is dependent on their stories, their legends, their beliefs, their religions, attempting to navigate across one’s life, always in search of meaning.
Definitely, in my beliefs about how others view me, I often don't even recognize that I'm telling myself a story that I've never verified, in my mind it is just "the truth", it requires so much mindfulness to even see the story as a story, which requires slowness, which we rarely grant ourselves.
This is so beautiful, Amy. Remember what we talked about during the StoryCorps about feeling like I was a burden and had created a huge moat between us when I was sick—and you helped me release that from my shoulders? That was such a gift. You are a bright light and a generous soul. Cheering for you this week leading up to your awesome exhibit and reception! ❤️
Thank you Karla! It's really interesting, right? I wonder were you even aware that was a story you were telling yourself? Because so many times my brain just says, "this thing is a fact" and I don't even notice that there could be other perspectives to ask about.
You nailed it. I just knew it to be true at that point, so the fact that you confirmed that it was not was earth-shaking. I would love to chat more about more things we believe to be fact—but might not be in reality. Maybe at our next Amy/Karla yearly adventure this can be on the agenda! Now my wheels are turning about what else that special day will entail. Love you, Amy!
I used to love story corps when I used to drive to work, best part of the week!! Now I have to check it out.
Yeah, Story Corps has been inspiring to me. I recorded interviews with my grandmother, mom, and dad, just at home, but they were memorable conversations. Karla gets a lot of perks with her work, so Butterball (the turkey company) sponsored our StoryCorps trip out there.
I love to hear this! Amy and I were able to record one together in NYC last fall, and it's a core memory I'll never forget.
Definitely a special trip, even though you missed my breakfast red bean bun which was the bomb! :)
Skill shares! Yes to decompartmentalizing our expertise and curiosity!
Yes! I ran into a fellow mom at a school event who works at the library. She pointed me toward the programming lady at the library. I'm on my way. I hope others will share some skills around here too. Though I also kind of like the idea of hosting something I kind of suck at. Like I think I would be a great song leader because I'm not a very good singer, so everyone would just like, well, I can do that, and belt it out.
This is an amazing essay, putting into words so much of what goes through my head about being a burden to people. I feel so guilty, sometimes, just for taking up space. I haven't had the courage yet to confront those thoughts and assumptions. Somehow just reading about your experiences is a comfort that I'm not alone in creating such knotted thoughts.
Thank you Sarah, definitely know you're not alone, I suspect we've all (at least here in the US) been taught this story at some point. Maybe we can experiment in challenging the stories together.
For me it has to do with our relentless addiction to being productive, and also feeling the need to give or exchange something to the person who is spending time with me
What a truly beautiful piece of writing. I was very moved by the sharing of this story, whose words have had a profound impact. Thank you.
Thank you Sarah, sorry I didn't respond sooner, I didn't see your comment until today. Glad to hear it may be changing your stories!
I'll be reflecting on this the next few days!
Glad to hear it! Would love to hear if it leads to any revelations!