Hi Amy, I resonate with so much of what you write about and THIS, in particular, is so timely. I'm a nurse with over 4 decades of experience, the past 15 with the VA. I started seeing a therapist last month for some work-related issues. After a few weeks I gently asked, "so... what is my billable dx? " PTSD, she said. I thought I was doing okay, just more anxious than usual, sleeping poorly, nightmares. But yeah, I met all the criteria. And here we are. Thanks for being here and sharing from the heart.
I'm glad this article finds you at the right time. Since I wrote the article, I learned from my therapist that people often experience emotional flashbacks with C-PTSD. I found that really clarifying because I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did when things were objectively “fine”. I hope this conversation opens up because I do think it's a different experience than PTSD due to war or abuse, bit I also find myself angry that there were so many systemic factors that could have substantially reduced our risk, but the almighty dollar wins over protecting our people.
Thank you! To be honest, it was rather self-serving, figuring things out for myself, but I found very few personal accounts of PTSD in healthcare, so hopefully it will help open that path too.
Amy - thanks for this heartfelt reflection. I really resonate with the constant questioning if my own experience and asking 'what's wrong with me' if it is different from the people around me. <3
Thank you Sarah! I can't tell you how big of a revelation it was for me a couple years ago when I realized that I could need things that were different from what other people needed. It was definitely what I call a “duh epiphany”
Haha, yeah, after being taught for years that our needs don't matter, it become very difficult not to believe it. Glad you were willing to seek out support and listen.
Thank you for this article Amy. It's insightful, interesting and useful. I had to laugh as my temperament also tends to default toward, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” with a small side of existential crisis.
Thank you Genevieve. I'm glad it resonates. There was definitely a gap between my academic understanding and lived experience that I needed to traverse. And the world definitely needs a bit more Monty Python, eh?
I have been in group therapy for 15 years specifically because my truths that need the most work are the truths I am best at hiding from myself. we need others to point them out to us and it’s nice to have an intentional container to do this in.
Some could call it shadow work. Transforming behavior that you no longer desire. Or at least being able to track within yourself the why you might respond in certain ways and then the choice- is this how I want to be.
The pandemic ate up way too much of my thought and feeling sphere. For me it was about authority work. Aligning my relationship to outer authority so that I could be more honest with my inner authority.
Anyway, best wishes to you on your delving and growth
Oh man, group therapy for healthcare workers would be so transformative. I think many of us feel like we are the only one struggling with something even though rationally we know that's unlikely. I love what you say about the truths that need the most work are the truths I am best at hiding from myself. I am just beginning to discover that, but it rings true.
That post-traumatic growth inventory is new to me - thank you for sharing.
Wondering if you had nightmares? That's always been a big clue to me that I'm in the middle of a PTSD flare and a sign I need to aggressively work on self-care and regulation. I also take prazosin, which treats the nightmares pretty well and has the benefit of treating the chronic hypertension I now have thanks to pregnancy/severe preeclampsia. If you don't know the history of that drug as it relates to PTSD, it's pretty interesting.
Hi Amy, I resonate with so much of what you write about and THIS, in particular, is so timely. I'm a nurse with over 4 decades of experience, the past 15 with the VA. I started seeing a therapist last month for some work-related issues. After a few weeks I gently asked, "so... what is my billable dx? " PTSD, she said. I thought I was doing okay, just more anxious than usual, sleeping poorly, nightmares. But yeah, I met all the criteria. And here we are. Thanks for being here and sharing from the heart.
I'm glad this article finds you at the right time. Since I wrote the article, I learned from my therapist that people often experience emotional flashbacks with C-PTSD. I found that really clarifying because I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did when things were objectively “fine”. I hope this conversation opens up because I do think it's a different experience than PTSD due to war or abuse, bit I also find myself angry that there were so many systemic factors that could have substantially reduced our risk, but the almighty dollar wins over protecting our people.
Yes and thank you for writing this all out!
Thank you! To be honest, it was rather self-serving, figuring things out for myself, but I found very few personal accounts of PTSD in healthcare, so hopefully it will help open that path too.
It’s definitely and under talked about topic that many of us experience on many levels!
Yeah, my therapist was talking about emotional flashbacks as opposed to visual flashbacks and that made so much sense.
Amy - thanks for this heartfelt reflection. I really resonate with the constant questioning if my own experience and asking 'what's wrong with me' if it is different from the people around me. <3
Thank you Sarah! I can't tell you how big of a revelation it was for me a couple years ago when I realized that I could need things that were different from what other people needed. It was definitely what I call a “duh epiphany”
I also disagreed with a therapist about having PTSD after working in the ER during COVID. Special breed haha
Haha, yeah, after being taught for years that our needs don't matter, it become very difficult not to believe it. Glad you were willing to seek out support and listen.
You too!
Thank you for this article Amy. It's insightful, interesting and useful. I had to laugh as my temperament also tends to default toward, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” with a small side of existential crisis.
Thank you Genevieve. I'm glad it resonates. There was definitely a gap between my academic understanding and lived experience that I needed to traverse. And the world definitely needs a bit more Monty Python, eh?
I have been in group therapy for 15 years specifically because my truths that need the most work are the truths I am best at hiding from myself. we need others to point them out to us and it’s nice to have an intentional container to do this in.
Some could call it shadow work. Transforming behavior that you no longer desire. Or at least being able to track within yourself the why you might respond in certain ways and then the choice- is this how I want to be.
The pandemic ate up way too much of my thought and feeling sphere. For me it was about authority work. Aligning my relationship to outer authority so that I could be more honest with my inner authority.
Anyway, best wishes to you on your delving and growth
Oh man, group therapy for healthcare workers would be so transformative. I think many of us feel like we are the only one struggling with something even though rationally we know that's unlikely. I love what you say about the truths that need the most work are the truths I am best at hiding from myself. I am just beginning to discover that, but it rings true.
That post-traumatic growth inventory is new to me - thank you for sharing.
Wondering if you had nightmares? That's always been a big clue to me that I'm in the middle of a PTSD flare and a sign I need to aggressively work on self-care and regulation. I also take prazosin, which treats the nightmares pretty well and has the benefit of treating the chronic hypertension I now have thanks to pregnancy/severe preeclampsia. If you don't know the history of that drug as it relates to PTSD, it's pretty interesting.
(also I just subscribed to you after realizing I'm not getting your posts! I must have just been following you...)